Stuff…we all got it. Some have more, some have less, and the types of stuff may vary from person to person, but we all have stuff. Aside from the physical stuff that we sometimes refer to as “our belongings”, we also have mental stuff and digital stuff. For the sake of brevity, let’s just focus on the physical stuff for right now. Perhaps we’ll come back to the other stuff another day.
Take a brief moment to quickly (without leaving where you are) visually inventory your stuff. If you are in a space of your own, this is probably pretty straight forward. If not, look at what you’re wearing and what’s in your pockets, bag, or even inside your wallet. Briefly note each individual item that you have.
Do any of these items bring about a certain thought or emotion that isn’t tied to your current experience in this present moment? If so, right click on your mental note for that item, select ‘add comment’, and input a few words or a sentence about what it brought up for you. Here’s how this went for me.
Coffee Mug…Sticky Notes…Water Bottle…Stack of Books…Keys…Fan…Stack of Books…
Stack of Books: curious, disappointed, haven’t made time to read them, fraud
As with much of our stuff, I have a sort of relationship with the stack of books sitting on my desk. Whether it be intentions, memories, and/or feelings that may be pleasant or unpleasant, the physical items we possess can activate or extinguish a variety of thoughts and emotions.
This stack of books are books that I have not yet read. I really do want to read a couple of them and the rest, I have no idea why I actually decided to add them to the stack in the first place. Yet, here they sit, periodically activating these unintended thoughts and emotions. Perhaps the excess books are getting in the way of me mentally finding the time for those that I am interested in. Maybe I’m just making excuses… Sometimes I am consciously aware of the internal dialogue. However, I’m sure there are times when it’s running in the background or even gets added as a footnote to something unrelated.
Important Meeting…Time to leave…Put on shoes…Grab keys next to books (ugh, the books)…Lock the door…Start the car…Ugh, Meeting
The State of Being Connected
Most of us are pretty aware that the people we surround ourselves with can influence our behaviors, thoughts, and mindset. Just as our relationships with people can impact other areas of our lives, so can our stuff. We may not think of stuff in the same sense or maybe question if we can truly have a “relationship” with non-living things. Oxford languages defines relationship as, “the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.”
How are we connected to our stuff? For myself, I think the connection is most prevalent when the stuff is in my physical space, especially when I can see it. A connection also exists for the items that I own, which may not with me in the moment. After all, my subconscious is still keeping a cognitive and emotional inventory of all “my stuff”, no matter where it is. As we learn in physics class, connections use energy. This is why I think it is important for me to be aware of and intentional about the stuff in my life and thus the energy used for such connections.
Not all connections are created equal, with certain items having stronger connections than others and the type of connection varying as well. I break connections down into three main categories: practical, sentimental, and MUC. In case you’re not familiar with MUC, I’ll let you in on my latest pun-filled acronym in just a bit.
First, let’s consider practical connections to stuff. These would be with items that we utilize for specific purposes such as scissors, blankets, shoes, cell phones, keys, coffee mugs…I think you get the picture. Sentimental connections are those with more emotion mixed in. This could be a family heirloom, a collection of particular items, a book that sparked a life changing event, a memento from a loved one, or any number of items that have some type of meaning to you. It’s likely that some items fall into both the practical and sentimental categories. I don’t see any issue with that as long as we’re aware of and honest with ourselves about where on the spectrum our stuff exists.
Now, onto MUC, which I am biasly quite amused with. MUC stands for Mindless Unknown Connections and refers to all the connections that we are unsure of why they exist. Sometimes, we are fully aware that they are present and don’t care to understand why or maybe we just haven’t given them a second thought. Other times, we may be completely blind to their existence. I think MUC is where we get into the most trouble with our stuff.
MUCK-NO!
I know, I know. I just couldn’t help myself. When it comes to our stuff, I truly believe the awareness and understanding of the connections are typically the most important pieces in the puzzle of healthy relationships. This is why I say MUCK-NO when I sense I have a relationship to something that I don’t fully understand. When I see the MUC (Mindless Unknown Connections), I pause for a moment to Kindly Note and Observe. I don’t need to become a therapist and dive super deep every time, but taking that moment to kindly (without judgement) make a mental note that this connection exists and observe any relevant information is incredibly valuable.
If you are a journaling type of person, maybe this is something you could jot down. If you’re like me and your journaling is more in the mental space, create a new folder in your cognitive filing cabinet where you can store these notes and observations for easy access.
When you sense the MUC, note:
- How strong it feels
- Where you and the item are
- When you first remember possessing the item
- When you first recognized the item’s significance
Then, moving forward, observe:
- How you interact with this item
- When/If you’re drawn to it
- How often you interact with it
- What feelings arise
Try not to be harsh and judge yourself as you collect this information. The intent is to simply become aware of that which you are not. Even if there is nothing harmful about the relationship with a specific item that you pause to consider, shifting your mindset to be aware of the connections will allow you to be more mindful of the stuff in your life. What you decide to do with those connections and the stuff after that is totally up to you. There are tons of books and shows about organizing stuff, but at the end of the day, well organized chaos is still chaos. It is when we’re honest and intentional about the stuff we keep in our lives that we can begin to clean up the mental clutter associated with our stuff.
