I was recently asked what I think about a particular politician. As I began to reply, noting a certain emotional reaction taking place, I said, “Honestly, they’re definitely not my favorite person. I’d go as far as to say that they’re a…for lack of a better word, _________.” I know, I’m holding out on the best part. However, that descriptive word is less relevant than the use of “for lack of a better word” as I consider this interaction.
Sometimes it may just be an off the cuff statement, but many times we use it as way to be lazy in identifying the appropriate word. Is it really a big deal? Is it something we should give second thought to? That depends on the context. I think it is important to give it a second consideration when it is part of an emotionally charged descriptive word for a person, thing, or situation.
To me, these words matter. They are what we use to label concepts and ideas in our brain, which we then assign to the people, things, and situations that we think are associated. We also use them when communicating with others at an emotional and cognitive level. Is it possible that our brain just can’t recall the most appropriate word in that moment? Yes, but we also use “for lack of a better word” when we are unaware of how we feel or what we think about something or someone. Maybe the more fitting thing to say sometimes would be, “for lack of an awareness of what I truly think…” (Rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it.)
I may be having a bit of fun as I consider this, but I do think it helps us connect more authentically when we give it a second thought. Whether you use the phrase itself or just pause and pick a “for lack of an awareness of what I truly think…” filler word without much thought, try to make a mental note and come back to it at some point. When we are mindful and intentional about how we describe people, things, and situations we are also practicing a bit of compassion. I definitely don’t think a little more compassion, towards others and ourselves, would be a bad thing in the world right now.
