Sitting down to write this, I am not quite sure what is going to flow from my subconscious to my consciousness and through my fingertips onto the keyboard. Perhaps, for just a moment, I can turn off the conscious filter that stands as the gatekeeper between what is present within me at the deepest subconscious levels, and what I actually express to myself and others. Is my authentic self represented through that unfiltered expression? If so, does that mean my filtered thoughts and emotions are not my authentic self? This introduces another concept to consider. What is “the self” and how does that relate to authenticity?
Flowing into my stream of thought is an episode I watched of the sitcom, Young Sheldon. In this episode Sheldon, a “true genius”, goes off to college at a very young age his intellectual self is confronted by a philosophy teacher who provides considerations that forces his brain to consider this idea of the self and whether or not he actually exists as he currently knows himself to be. An amusing journey of frustration and discovery then ensues. While presented from a comedic standpoint, this battle to understand the self and thus understand thyself is something humans have struggled with for thousands of years and likely will for many more. In the episode, Sheldon eventually stumbles across the words of René Descartes, “Cogito, ergo sum” (aka: “I think therefore I am”). This temporarily put his mind at ease as he questioned his existence.
Whatever our understanding or acceptance of the self may be, I do believe it is necessary for intentional authenticity. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with accidental authenticity. However, when we are deliberate about staying true to thyself, we are better able to repeat that authenticity on a regular basis. On the other hand, I sometimes feel inauthentic when “trying” to be authentic because I feel like the trying diminishes the value of the authenticity. I don’t think I’m alone here, especially in the world of mindfulness or awareness.
Let’s enter back into metaphorical land and think of accidental or unintentional authenticity as a raw steak (beef, ahi, or whatever protein your heart desires). When preparing that steak for consumption, does it become less of a steak? Ask any chef and they will likely tell you that a good steak only needs minimal influence to be scrumptious and adding too much will mask its natural flavor. Even though the influence on the protein is minimal, there is still a certain amount of preparation. Whether it be a light sear, a slow roast, a pinch of salt, there is still some thought put into allowing the beauty of the protein to shine through. This is what intentional authenticity is to me. It is being aware of the self and deliberate about how it is expressed.
Developing the self is also important, but we’ll save that for future consideration. In case your brain is still in metaphor land and maybe thinking about certain proteins that are served raw, let me provide one more inter-metaphorical piece of food for thought. Even if the protein is served completely raw, isn’t there still some amount of intentionality? After all, the decision to serve it raw is on purpose. The decision to offer it on the menu is on purpose. The opportunity for others to experience it is on purpose. I believe that when on purpose exists alongside with purpose, we can intentionally be and express our authentic self.
